Caring for my Dog ( Collaboration)

My family has a dog named Toffee that's mixed with German Shepard and he is quite the handful to deal with. He's fairly large in size but incredibly mischievous however he's so spoilt he gets away with about 95% of his naughty habits. As you can see in the picture, he loves to jump on my mother's bed and the little bugger gets away with it all the time!


In collaborating with Gaitree of The Happy Paws I've been learning how to better care for him. She has been extremely helpful in explaining the various types of food that we cannot feed Toffee and reasons as to why it is dangerous to him. I was completely unaware as to how dangerous chocolate could be as well as meat bones and salt.
I also learned about how to care from Toffee during Divali which was much better this year for Toffee after following her suggestions. He was calm and playful this year which we were very grateful for.
Check out Gaitree's blog for informative and interesting knowledge to care for dogs and appreciate man's best friend even more.

Must Visit South Korea (Collaboration)

South Korea has always fascinated me and earlier this year I became deeply interested in their culture, food and language. In collaborating with Adina of Let's Talk About Books, she introduced me to the Korean Dramas, which I've become super obsessed with but due to school I haven't gotten a chance to watch any new show.... at all... like nothing at all!
I recently came across this book series called Gilded Trilogy written by Christina Farley. It's three books called Gilded, Silvern and Brazen that is about a Korean-American teen with a family curse that awakens when her father decides to move back to Seoul, South Korea.

 She battles an evil demigod, Haemosu, who wants to take her soul and make her his princess. The legend of Haemosu is an actual Korean myth. The main character was pretty awesome since she had learned the art of tae kwon do and archery. 

These books definitely added to my hopes of visiting South Korea soon. I recommended these books to Adina who also read them and did a review on them. You can head over to her channel and check it out. 

St. Lucia

I visited St Lucia in August 2014 on the weekend of my 20th birthday. My mother, her cousin,two of her aunts and myself went on an all inclusive trip. It was absolutely amazing! We stayed at Coco Palm Hotel located in Rodney Bay. The accommodations were excellent, the food was scrumptious with non-atop drinks at the bar with friendly staff and a beautiful pool to relax in. 

We arrived on Friday night just in time to enjoy dinner before the kitchen closed. There was a live band performing that serenaded me for my birthday while my relatives danced and had the time of their lives.

The hotel was conveniently, located just a minute away from a street filled with bars and the malls were also mere minutes away from the hotel. At the hotel I had this drink that I've not been able to find anywhere else and I really wish I could try it again. It's called 'Hurt It' and it was divine! Three of those and I couldn't walk straight anymore... Silly me. Saturday was spend at the nearby malls checking out the stores and then we took an evening stroll on the Reduit Beach. 

Sunday was spent exploring the island. We made arrangements with a taxi recommended by the hotel who was super friendly and charged us $120 US to drive around the entire island. We had a quick stop at Pigeon Island. It was beautiful. 

Our next stop was at a lighthouse but I cannot recall exactly where it was or what it was called. 

I tried Cassava Bread from this little cute shop on the side of the road. It was interesting but I wouldn't have very often. 

Next we visited Toraille Waterfall. The water was cold and it took me quite a while before I stepped in. 

Black Water pool was next on our tour. Here is some information on Black Water pool taken from their website: "The waters flowing within the park and within the pools are ranked as highly as the waters of the Baden Baden in Germany, Yellow Stone Geysers and Hot Springs in Wyoming, USA and Onsen Ryokan, in Japan and are world renowned for their ability to reduce stress, cure rheumatism, psoriasis and other skin ailments.  In fact, in 1784, under instructions from King Louis XV1 of France, samples of the mineral saturated water emerging from Sulphur Springs were analyzed in France and found to possess similar medicinal properties to the waters of the Aix-les-Bains.  Consequently, baths were built by Baron-de-Laborie, the French Governor of St. Lucia (1784 to 1789), at Diamond Estate, 1 km north-west of Sulphur Springs Park.  The original Diamond Baths were destroyed during the Brigand War that followed on the heels of the French Revolution (1789-1794), but, were rebuilt by the owners in the early twentieth century.  These baths today sit within St. Lucia’s largest and best kept botanical gardens and are themselves a tourist attraction."

The day ended at another lighthouse at the top of this high hill that gave us a beautiful view. We were lucky to witness a stunning sunset to end a magnificent day exploring the island. 

December in Vancouver

I went on my third trip in December of 2013. My mother and I went to spend Christmas with my aunt and her husband. It was a family trip to heal. My grandmother had lost her battle with cancer In October of 2012. No words could describe the heartbreak my family had to once more experience. We had lost the glue that held it all together and we were desperate to try to keep it all together without her.

I was extremely thankful for this holiday for my mother to spend time with her sister. They had lost both parents, three of their brothers, a nephew and my father. The courage, strength, faith and hope shown by these two women were what helped me to believe that I could carry on. Now I began to really appreciate the fun we had together from my first trip.

We visited of my favorite places, Stanley Park and I met a furry friend while there. A raccoon lazily appeared out of the bushes and was picking at scrap he found on the floor. He seemed so unbothered by all the people walking by. 

Most of the holiday was spent shopping and I loved every moment of it! I was in heaven with all the new clothes, shoes, accessories and even the new iPhone that I got! Some days we would be up to 10 hours in a mall just shopping and having an absolute ball. My Canadian uncle is truly an awesome guy to have be so patient with 3 ladies loose in a mall every other day and.

I always enjoy trying new food and one of my most loved memory from this trip was trying sushi. I loved it! My mother on the other hand almost puked. She preferred tempura instead. I enjoyed the pure green tea that we had too. The leaves were placed at the bottom of the cup and hot water was poured over it. 

We were lucky to experience snow for only one day while we were there. It was winter wonderland for my mother and I as we frolicked in the snow. 

Although this trip wasn't filled with much exploring, it was very much needed and consoling. I was able to forget all the troubles than life may have and I reminded myself of how much more there is out there to see and how important it is to live with arms wide open. I had the power to determine the outcome of my life and although I was again devastated inside, I can't let this define who I am. Just as there is night with the moon that rises, there will be a new day with the sun that will also rise brightening up the world with hope that things do turn around for better.

Grouse Mountain

As we continued our summer fun, we planned a visit to Grouse Mountain. I was always eager to get dressed and hit the road. The day started off with breakfast at iHop. It was packed with people and the menu had my head spinning with so many options to choose from. 

After we made our way to Grouse Mountain. Known as both a resort and an attraction, Grouse Mountain is a popular North Vancouver year-round mountain playground about 15 minutes away from downtown Vancouver. 

"Grouse Mountain is one of the North Shore Mountains of the Pacific Ranges in the District Municipality of North Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada. Exceeding 1,200 m (4,000 feet) in altitude at its peak, is the site of an alpine ski area, Grouse Mountain Resort, which in the winter season overlooks Greater Vancouver with four chairlifts servicing 26 runs. In the summer, Grouse Mountain Resort features lumberjack shows, a birds of prey wildlife demonstration, a scenic chairlift ride, and a 2.9 km (1.8 mi.) hiking trail known as the Grouse Grind, as well as helicopter sightseeing. Year-round operations include a 100-seat mountaintop theater and a wildlife refuge. Public access to the mountain top is by a Swiss Garaventa aerial tramway, or the Grouse Grind hiking trail (Open for hiking May-October.)"

I was a little afraid to go on the tramway but reminded myself that I didn't come all the way here to waste this opportunity so I ignored my fear. As we rose into the air, the view was amazing. I just loved how green it was. On one side was water and land on the next side.

The story about how grouse mountain came to be is an interesting one. According to their website "Grouse Mountain was named by the first recorded hikers to reach the summit in October 1894. In those days, climbing Grouse Mountain was a three or four day epic journey - there was no bridge across Burrard Inlet and no road to the base. The hardy group of hikers slogged through snow, scrambled over rock and up through the dense forest. Along the way, they hunted a Blue Grouse and honored the plentiful game bird by calling the Peak "Grouse Mountain".

We walked around checking out what was on display and took loads of pictures. 

In 2001 The Grouse Mountain Refuge for Endangered Wildlife was launched. Grinder and Coola, two orphaned grizzly bears, were the first to call the Refuge their home.  Grinder was found in Invermere, BC. He was wandering alone on a logging road, dehydrated, thin, weak and weighing only 4.5 kg. Coola was found orphaned on a highway near Bella Coola, BC. His mother had been killed by a truck and, of her three cubs, Coola was the only one to survive. Now the bears are taken care of at Grouse Mountain and visitors can get to view them as they go about playing in water and running in the grass. Unfortunately I don't have a decent picture of the other bear.

We were too early for any shows yet so took the chairlift ride to get to the other attractions. That was another hell by itself! I was really afraid again that I might slip from the ride but my I wasn't a coward either and this trip was all about fun.

We made our way towards the Eye of the Wind. "British Columbia’s wind energy icon and newest technological marvel, the Eye of the Wind is the world’s first wind turbine with a one-of-a-kind panoramic viewPOD at the top of the tower. The viewPOD is accessible by elevator – providing visitors with a close-up view of wind energy at work plus a 360-degree view of the Lower Mainland."

Once more the view was breathtaking. It was green for as far as I could see. The entire pod spun as the turbine's blades moved with the wind and the floor had glass a glass ceiling. 

We also saw the Birds in Motion show. They had a golden eagle, red- tailed hawk and peregrine falcon. The birds were majestic fearsome animals that caught their meals with huge claws. 

The lumberjack show was hilarious as the men performed cool stunts, climbed logs and did silly things teasing each other. While the show was going on, fog began to surround us. It was strange and alluring to me.

It was a fun day at Grouse Mountain and I cannot wait to spend another summer exploring the mountain soon.

Summer fun in Vancouver

Vancouver is without a doubt a beautiful city! I love how green it is and in tune with nature. I'd be lying if I didn't be completely truthful and confess how much I was in love with Vancouver. The houses were of different color and styles reminding me of back home. Toronto the houses were generally the same style and color and the city felt like a concrete jungle to me. 
We didn't waste anytime in advantaging the warm, sunny day and headed to Stanley Park. At the park it was buzzing with families, joggers, cyclists and tourists snapping tons of photos. I reveled at the site of all the colors of flowers, the different plants and trees.

This was my first time visiting the park at summer time and it was so beautiful. There were butterflies around, squirrels running in the trees and raccoons digging through the trash. 

The view of the mountains was like nothing I had ever seen before and it took my breath away. Vancouver really made me have a deeper appreciation and develop a great love for nature. 

We drove around after to downtown Vancouver and I was like a kid in a candy store. My eyes were wide with excitement as my head spun in all directions looking at all the huge, tall buildings, the multitude of ethnicity of people all over the city and the First Nation people. The beach was packed with people all having a good time soaking up the sun. 

It was a great start to the two weeks we were about to spend together. It was a blessing to spend this time with my family and share laughs together to create memories that would last a life time.

Family time in Vancouver

After spending two weeks in Toronto, my uncle and I went to Vancouver to visit my aunt and her husband. My aunt and I have always been close and she's like a second mother to me. No matter the time or where I could always turn to her in times of sadness and for advice. Her husband has always been an extremely loving and selfless person who I admire and look up to immensely. It's always a wonderful time when we are all together. 

This holiday with her came at a delicate moment in the family's lives as we all struggled to cope with the loss of Vinayak just 6 months before and during my grandmother's battle with cancer. I was happy that my uncle had this chance to have a vacation with her too since this was his first international trip. 

It lifted me out of my mental state of depression. I don't think I had ever admitted to anyone exactly how devastated I was left from Vinayak's loss. I had days I would just get home from school, change and lay in bed with my iPod and listen to music without eating or drinking much. At one point I became sick and my mother had rushed me to a doctor. I ended up developing stomach issues.

I had stopped reading books which was my most loved thing to do. Before I used to read a book in about a day or two, I always used to get in trouble for reading during classes and during recess I would've been deep into a book. After Vinayak's death I just lost all motivation for anything. He was our joy and source of happiness and even though he was going through chemotherapy and had lost his hair, he was the most cutest kid I had ever known. His smile could've lit up the entire room.

I had days when I hated god and wished I could dream Vinyak just to have some kind of sign from him that he is happy wherever he is and our sweet baby still remembers us. Wishful thinking..... but I had to remind myself that it would be selfish to still want him here on this earth where he was suffering and in pain. 

I remembered all the days we had to hold him still while up to 50 needles pierced his arms and legs for a vein for an IV as he screamed in tears. As much as I grieved for him, he was in a better place with his father, my dad, his two uncles and his grandfather. I had to be strong for my family around me and for my own sanity.

In Toronto I was doing alright but to face my aunt weighed heavily on my mind. This holiday with my aunt was a way for me to heal myself. My heart was barely holding together and my mind urged me to carry on and be the pillar of strength that my mother needed. I knew it would be difficult to look at my aunt and not think of my family back home but I had to. I was blessed to still be alive and I told myself I have to live to the fullest and carry on Vinayak, my dad and my uncle's memories.

Down Town Toronto & CN Tower

My cousin was an excellent tour guide as she took us on a tour of Down Town Toronto. We took the train and I have to admit it was my very first time on a subway network this huge. I was nervous and intimidated due to the instructions given to enter the train as quickly as possible within the few seconds before the doors close. 

It was fortunately a warm and sunny day so we walked and made our way toward the CN Tower. It was crazy and I loved it! The hustle and bustle of the town life, seeing people laugh and talk as they went about their way and buses almost everywhere.

There were so many food trucks parked on the sides of the streets with so many varieties to choose from. I really did love how food was so easy to find in Toronto. We got to the center and joined the lines to purchase our tickets to enter. The line was fairly long and I did enjoy the sun for the time I had to stand and wait. To this day I still have my ticket as a reminder of the memories. 

Here's a little history on the CN Tower taken from their website: "Defining the Toronto skyline at 553.33m (1,815ft5in), the CN Tower is Canada’s most recognizable and celebrated icon. The CN Tower is an internationally renowned architectural triumph, an engineering Wonder of the Modern World, world-class entertainment and dining destination and a must see for anyone visiting Toronto. Each year, over 1.5 million people visit Canada’s National Tower to take in the breathtaking views and enjoy all the CN Tower has to offer.

After 40 months of construction, the CN Tower was opened to the public on June 26, 1976 and it was well on its way to becoming the country’s most celebrated landmark. It is the centre of telecommunications for Toronto serving over 16 Canadian television and FM radio stations, the workplace of over 500 people throughout the year, and an internationally renowned tourism destination. The CN Tower was built by Canadian National who wanted to demonstrate the strength of Canadian industry by building a tower taller than any other in the world. Building the CN Tower was a vast and ambitious project that involved 1,537 workers who worked 24 hours a day, five days a week for 40 months to completion. "

We used an elevator to get to the top that moved at a speed of 22 kilometers an hour and we ascended 114 building stories. It was equally exciting as frightening to be going up so high but it was a marvelous site when we got to the top. You could've seen everything and for miles. 

There also was the glass floor to walk on. I must admit I was afraid to walk on the glass with a tiny bit of fear in my mind. Here are some facts on the glass floor taken from the CN Tower's website: "The Glass Floor has been specifically designed for you to have fun on it, so walk or crawl across it, sit on it or even jump on it. Don't worry it won't break.  The Glass Floor was the world's first when it opened on June 26, 1994. The floor is 23.8 square metres (256 sq. ft) of solid glass that is five times stronger than the required weight bearing standard for commercial floors. It can actually withstand the weight of 35 moose." 

After a few minutes of wracking my brain I took a deep breath, looked at the the glass and slowly put one foot on the floor followed by the other foot. I looked down and instantly felt scared again but I encouraged myself to be brave. I told myself that I was fortunate to be here and to have this moment so take the moment and triumph. 

I stood there and stared at the ground. I looked at all the cars going by and the people walking. Excitement started to build up within me again and I decided to sit on the glass and enjoy the view.

I felt pretty proud of myself but my mind began to linger on my relatives back home and the health of my grandmother. I knew that the cancer was at stage 4 and she was in excruciating pain while I was far away in another country. I didn't know if to feel guilty, fortunate or downhearted.

Niagara Falls

Niagara Falls had always been one of the places that I absolutely had to see while in Toronto. Our family members were kind enough to organize a family trip for all the Trinidadians who where visiting. The drive was longer than expected but very much worth it. Upon arrival, we parked and I eagerly walked around enjoying the beautiful sunny day. 
                           
We walked for about 5 minutes to get to the main viewing area but the roar of the water could have been heard long before I was able to see it. It was exciting and I began to take so many pictures. It was a a site to behold! The water was a spectacular blue and it gushed by as I stood there in awe. It was loud and fearsome yet amazing all at once.
                    

"Niagara Falls is the collective name for three waterfalls that straddle the International border between Canada and USA. From largest to smallest, the three waterfalls are the Horseshoe Falls, the American Falls and the Bridal Veil Falls. The Horseshoe Falls lie mostly on the Canadian side and the American Falls entirely on the American side, separated by Goat Island. The smaller Bridal Veil Falls are also on the American side, separated from the other waterfalls by Luna Island. The international boundary line was originally drawn through Horseshoe Falls in 1819, but the boundary has long been in dispute due to natural erosion and construction"

Within that moment of standing near the waterfall, I had an immense humbling feeling. I was absolutely blown away by the stunning form of nature before me. I stood there for a few minutes just taking in the blue water, the incredible roar of the water and the mist that rose. 

I felt so extremely blessed to be able to visit this famous landmark on such a beautiful day. As the day went on we visited a nearby park and took some more pictures. We settled down and had a meal. I grew restless and wanted to wander around and encouraged my older cousin to take me. I believe we were near Rainbow Bridge and we were right under the bridge. 

     

I heard a dog barking and voices from a distance. Curious and eager to find the voices I looked all around until I saw movements on the other side of the river. Two persons were jogging on what seemed to be a trail. I thought of how those person's lives were like to be living in America, just carrying own with their daily routine as I was here for a holiday and had to return to Trinidad after the 4 weeks was over.

I took my camera and zoomed as much as I could to remember those persons. There was also this lovely house overlooking the river and I wished so much for if only I could been living there. It would've been a great escape to wake up to that view each morning and forget how much I missed my relatives.

A Trini Wedding in Toronto.

I arrived in Toronto on Thursday 2nd August just in time for a relative's wedding on Sunday. A total of 6 of us went for the wedding and the atmosphere was buzzing with excitement. The Friday night we all got together at the groom's home and had a traditional Hindu 'saffron night' where we rubbed saffron all over the groom's legs, arms and face. This was followed by 'patching lawa' and then we all danced, laughed and met family and friends. 
                                
On Saturday, the day of the Hindu wedding ceremony, I began to miss my grandmother as I dressed and needed someone to help me but when I met up with all the family I felt the excitement again.

                 

The reception took place the next day on Sunday. My relatives surprised all of the visiting Trini's by pulling up in a stretch hummer limo to take us to the venue. We popped a bottle of champagne and had a toast to the happy occasion
  
                              
I made a speech on behalf of my family and was complimented by so many family members for representing my grandmother. Now it wouldn't have been a true Trini wedding without a drunk brawl now would it? It was hilarious and we gossiped about it for the rest of the night. We ate, laughed and danced till the morning hours. I always cherish the memories of this weekend and all the wonderful happy memories that were created. 

Preparing for Toronto

After my trip to Vancouver, 8 years later I went on my second international trip to Toronto in August of 2012. So much had happened within those years. My family had the deaths of two of my mother's brother Ramdath and Seudath. Seudath's son Vinayak ,the youngest member of our family, also passed away from cancer on Valentine's Day morning. He had just celebrated his 4th birthday two weeks earlier. Just days before Vinayak's death, my grandmother was diagnosed with cancer.
                              
On the outside I had to smile at school, keep up with assignments and be strong to support my mother and help my grandmother. On the inside... I was screaming. I was desperate for an end to the sadness. I was depressed and lost any motivation to live. It was too much to bear at just 17. My school work reflected my current state and my teachers asked me to visit the school counselor.
Ironically the counselor was a waste. I had to explain everything to her and how I felt about it all. I had to tell this woman about my relatives' deaths while she just scribbled away on a notepad and mumbled things. I had to tell her and relive the moment I learnt of Vinayak's death while at school. I remember screaming so loud the entire block heard me. All the air was sucked out of my lungs. His death left me in a dark deep hole. 
My grandmother had tried to delay her chemotherapy to attend her nephew's wedding in Toronto and I was to accompany her on the trip as well as my uncle and his wife. As the trip neared, my grandmother's pain intensified and she had to receive chemotherapy immediately. We cancelled her ticket and focused on her getting better before re-booking. At 17 I was limited to how much I could do. I would accompany my grandmother on her hospital trips and stay with her as my uncle signed any paperwork and consulted with the doctors.
                              
The anticipation of the trip distracted me from negative thoughts about my grandmother. I began to feel some excitement and enthusiasm again. I packed my suitcases and counted down the days till I would once more escape reality at home.

First Snow

The last day of my holiday was approaching and I dreaded it. I did not want to leave this place. It made me so happy and I forgot all our troubles at home. I felt a mix of happy and sad with all that had happened in the past three weeks. I was anxious to experience snow before I left and I would keep asking my aunt why it hasn't snowed yet or if the weather channel said it would. 
The last day came and I sat on the floor staring at the TV. I had became deeply engrossed with 'Kim Impossible' on the Disney channel for the duration of my holiday. As if time had slowed down, I remember something catching my eye through the  veranda glass door and taking a few moments to process what was happening while my eye widened with glee. 
It began to snow.... and it was magical. No time was wasted as I got into full gear and ran outside yelling at my mother to keep up with me. Nothing could explain the overwhelming joy I experienced as I jumped around, caught the snow flakes and stuck out my tongue to taste the snow. I forgot everything that day. I forgot my father's death. I forgot going back to school. I forgot I had to leave.

The memories of that day comforts me so much. It never fails to make me smile. I cherish that day. It is a bittersweet memory of my grandmother as well. My grandmother passed away October 26th 2012. Last week marked 4 years since her battle with cancer ended. Now I look back and appreciate these memories created, moments enjoyed with her as a family from this trip and the gratefulness for these pictures. 
                            
                   

Site Seeing in Vancouver.

While we were in Vancouver, we contacted my grandfather's sister and spent some time with her and her family. It was heaven for me with all the gifts, snacks and driving around. I could never forget how amazed I was when they took us to the Capilano Suspension Bridge. "The Capilano Suspension Bridge is a simple suspension bridge crossing the Capilano River in the District of North Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada. The current bridge is 140 meters long and 70 meters above the river."
 I had no idea how that bridge was possible and I was scared to walk across. 
Here's a picture taken from a google search to show exactly what I'm talking about. 
                         

It was like nothing I had ever done at ten years old. There were lots of other people visiting that day and were walking across the bridge so it was pretty shaky and had me wide eyes as I walked. I was left speechless after walking across the bridge. We followed a path and walked down to the river's edge where the cold water gushed down. The picture below practically shows how much I was 'mind blown' at this beautiful piece of nature
                                                      
Within these minutes of being bewitched by nature, that spark began in my heart that there was much more to life than all I had experienced so far. I was so happy and felt carefree as I stared at the marvel in front of me.
                                         

 Later on that day we also visited Stanley Park. "Stanley Park is a 405-hectare public park that borders the downtown of Vancouver in British Columbia, Canada and is almost entirely surrounded by waters of Vancouver Harbour and English Bay." It is Vancouver's first and largest urban park. I was once more amazed by nature to see all the trees and the ocean.
                                 
In the picture above Totem Poles can be seen at Stanley Park. Totem poles are monuments created by First Nations of the Pacific Northwest to represent and commemorate ancestry, histories, people, or events. “First Nation” is a term used to describe Aboriginal peoples of Canada who are ethnically neither Métis nor Inuit. Inuit refers to specific groups of people generally living in the far north who are not considered "Indians" under Canadian law. The term Métis refers to a collective of cultures and ethnic identities that resulted from unions between Aboriginal and European people in what is now Canada.
I was eager to learn and I read all the signs with the information on what I was looking at. 
                                     
We took lots of photos and I had some fun being silly.
                                     
                                     
I forgot all about how much I missed my dad. I was so caught up with where I was that I would completely forget he was gone. I was so happy and full of life again. I wanted the holiday to never end.
                         

Exploring Delta

The first few days of being in Vancouver I learnt that the area we were staying in was Delta. My Aunt lived minutes away from the town's center point where there were supermarkets, drug stores, fast food restaurants etc. It wasn't snowing but it was extremely cold and I had to bundle up in many layers of clothing. The air felt different and I enjoyed seeing 'smoke' come out of my mouth as I spoke. My mother, my grandmother and I would walk around town everyday when my aunt was at work and everyday we would find a new store to check out.
                                             
The people were so different from the Trinidad attitude I was accustomed to. At the local supermarkets the employees would greet you with a smile. They would have common courtesy and say "Good morning dear" or "Hello there". I was very surprised considering how often in Trinidad that happens to you at the supermarket.  My eyes were wide with excitement at all the various pastries, bread and snacks I saw. I picked up a few of the numerous kinds of bread they had and inhaled deeply that fresh bread smell. I never knew there could be so many shapes sizes and various forms of bread.
                                                 

What most amazed me was the price difference and I remember when my mother spoke to me about the difference in their dollar to ours and the exchange rate. I specifically remembered that I bought Bubbalicious gum for about $0.55 CAN and I was so happy for that small treat. I really loved myself the night we bought pizza for around $8 CAN from the local shop called 'Panago Pizza'. It smelt divine and I opened my mouth as wide as I could and stuffed my tummy with as much slices as possible. 
In these moments I forgot that my dad was gone and it felt like he was back in Trinidad. The only time I was reminded of him were when my family spoke of him and when I did remember him I thought of where he must be. As a child I told myself that he must be in heaven with Jesus and he would bless my mother and I. 

My First International Trip

I was ten years old when I went on my first international trip. I was so excited that I couldn't sleep for the days leading up to our trip to Canada. My mother and grandmother were also going to visit my mother's sister in Vancouver, British Columbia. On Thursday 9th December 2004 our flight with Air Canada left Trinidad at approximately 4:50 pm. I was scared a bit because it was my first international trip and the both flights were about five hours long each. As the plane took off in Piarco I experienced that 'pop' feeling that you feel in your ears as the air pressure took effect. I closed my eyes and silently prayed asking my father to bless me with a safe trip. 
                              
The previous year I had my first encounter with death. My father passed away on Monday 7th July 2003. I remember everything about that night. My family and some neighbors were at our home talking as my cousins and I looked at the t.v show Smallville. The phone ran about 8:30 pm. My uncle answered and the expression on his face said it all. My mother took the phone and all hell broke loose. Her screams were heard throughout the neighborhood. I was 8 years old at the time and everyone kept looking at me and saying "Poor child so small to really know" but I understood it all.
                           
We landed in Toronto at 10:15 pm local time and it was a whole new world. The airport was huge and there were hundreds of people just hustling and going their way with their luggage. Our flight from Trinidad was delayed so we arrived in Toronto with barely enough time to catch our second flight to Vancouver. Lost and confused, I tried to read the signs and urge on my mother and grandmother to keep up with me. Clueless, we asked for help from a woman who was passing on something that looked like a golf cart. Upon reading our itinerary she excitedly told us to get on and she would take us to the gate or else we would miss our flight.
After scrambling at the gate and being one of the last few to find our seats, we settled in and once more prepared for the second flight. It was in the middle of the night with only a few glimpses of light throughout the flight. I thought a lot about my father and where he could be at that moment. We finally arrived in Vancouver at 11:25 their local time. Exhausted and sleepy we met with my aunt and made our way home. 
Later that night I stared around the strange room clutching my doll, one of the last things my father gave me before he became ill. I felt a mix of scared, excited, sad and wonder with dreams of what this holiday would hold as I drifted to sleep. 

Wanderlust Soul Searching

Life is always unpredictable and within the blink of an eye everything could be changed forever. We can experience life altering moments that take us down a road with ups, downs and sometimes lots of bumps. Some of us have fortunately never experienced as much downs in life as others and we all cope with life's various hurdles in our own respective ways and experiences. If you've reached this far along reading, which I must say I'm glad for, then I'm sure you're curious as to where this talk about life leads to. Let me introduce and welcome you to my blog where I will summon the courage to talk about how travelling helped me to overcome the numerous deaths I have experienced in life and how it helped me to gain a positive outlook on life from the age of ten. I hardly ever spoke or expressed my true feelings as to how I dealt with seven immediate deaths but as depressing as it may sound, instead I began to see the positives of my situation and made the best of it. So join me as I recount the trips I took and how it helped me smile again.

- Camz.