Summer fun in Vancouver

Vancouver is without a doubt a beautiful city! I love how green it is and in tune with nature. I'd be lying if I didn't be completely truthful and confess how much I was in love with Vancouver. The houses were of different color and styles reminding me of back home. Toronto the houses were generally the same style and color and the city felt like a concrete jungle to me. 
We didn't waste anytime in advantaging the warm, sunny day and headed to Stanley Park. At the park it was buzzing with families, joggers, cyclists and tourists snapping tons of photos. I reveled at the site of all the colors of flowers, the different plants and trees.

This was my first time visiting the park at summer time and it was so beautiful. There were butterflies around, squirrels running in the trees and raccoons digging through the trash. 

The view of the mountains was like nothing I had ever seen before and it took my breath away. Vancouver really made me have a deeper appreciation and develop a great love for nature. 

We drove around after to downtown Vancouver and I was like a kid in a candy store. My eyes were wide with excitement as my head spun in all directions looking at all the huge, tall buildings, the multitude of ethnicity of people all over the city and the First Nation people. The beach was packed with people all having a good time soaking up the sun. 

It was a great start to the two weeks we were about to spend together. It was a blessing to spend this time with my family and share laughs together to create memories that would last a life time.

Family time in Vancouver

After spending two weeks in Toronto, my uncle and I went to Vancouver to visit my aunt and her husband. My aunt and I have always been close and she's like a second mother to me. No matter the time or where I could always turn to her in times of sadness and for advice. Her husband has always been an extremely loving and selfless person who I admire and look up to immensely. It's always a wonderful time when we are all together. 

This holiday with her came at a delicate moment in the family's lives as we all struggled to cope with the loss of Vinayak just 6 months before and during my grandmother's battle with cancer. I was happy that my uncle had this chance to have a vacation with her too since this was his first international trip. 

It lifted me out of my mental state of depression. I don't think I had ever admitted to anyone exactly how devastated I was left from Vinayak's loss. I had days I would just get home from school, change and lay in bed with my iPod and listen to music without eating or drinking much. At one point I became sick and my mother had rushed me to a doctor. I ended up developing stomach issues.

I had stopped reading books which was my most loved thing to do. Before I used to read a book in about a day or two, I always used to get in trouble for reading during classes and during recess I would've been deep into a book. After Vinayak's death I just lost all motivation for anything. He was our joy and source of happiness and even though he was going through chemotherapy and had lost his hair, he was the most cutest kid I had ever known. His smile could've lit up the entire room.

I had days when I hated god and wished I could dream Vinyak just to have some kind of sign from him that he is happy wherever he is and our sweet baby still remembers us. Wishful thinking..... but I had to remind myself that it would be selfish to still want him here on this earth where he was suffering and in pain. 

I remembered all the days we had to hold him still while up to 50 needles pierced his arms and legs for a vein for an IV as he screamed in tears. As much as I grieved for him, he was in a better place with his father, my dad, his two uncles and his grandfather. I had to be strong for my family around me and for my own sanity.

In Toronto I was doing alright but to face my aunt weighed heavily on my mind. This holiday with my aunt was a way for me to heal myself. My heart was barely holding together and my mind urged me to carry on and be the pillar of strength that my mother needed. I knew it would be difficult to look at my aunt and not think of my family back home but I had to. I was blessed to still be alive and I told myself I have to live to the fullest and carry on Vinayak, my dad and my uncle's memories.

Down Town Toronto & CN Tower

My cousin was an excellent tour guide as she took us on a tour of Down Town Toronto. We took the train and I have to admit it was my very first time on a subway network this huge. I was nervous and intimidated due to the instructions given to enter the train as quickly as possible within the few seconds before the doors close. 

It was fortunately a warm and sunny day so we walked and made our way toward the CN Tower. It was crazy and I loved it! The hustle and bustle of the town life, seeing people laugh and talk as they went about their way and buses almost everywhere.

There were so many food trucks parked on the sides of the streets with so many varieties to choose from. I really did love how food was so easy to find in Toronto. We got to the center and joined the lines to purchase our tickets to enter. The line was fairly long and I did enjoy the sun for the time I had to stand and wait. To this day I still have my ticket as a reminder of the memories. 

Here's a little history on the CN Tower taken from their website: "Defining the Toronto skyline at 553.33m (1,815ft5in), the CN Tower is Canada’s most recognizable and celebrated icon. The CN Tower is an internationally renowned architectural triumph, an engineering Wonder of the Modern World, world-class entertainment and dining destination and a must see for anyone visiting Toronto. Each year, over 1.5 million people visit Canada’s National Tower to take in the breathtaking views and enjoy all the CN Tower has to offer.

After 40 months of construction, the CN Tower was opened to the public on June 26, 1976 and it was well on its way to becoming the country’s most celebrated landmark. It is the centre of telecommunications for Toronto serving over 16 Canadian television and FM radio stations, the workplace of over 500 people throughout the year, and an internationally renowned tourism destination. The CN Tower was built by Canadian National who wanted to demonstrate the strength of Canadian industry by building a tower taller than any other in the world. Building the CN Tower was a vast and ambitious project that involved 1,537 workers who worked 24 hours a day, five days a week for 40 months to completion. "

We used an elevator to get to the top that moved at a speed of 22 kilometers an hour and we ascended 114 building stories. It was equally exciting as frightening to be going up so high but it was a marvelous site when we got to the top. You could've seen everything and for miles. 

There also was the glass floor to walk on. I must admit I was afraid to walk on the glass with a tiny bit of fear in my mind. Here are some facts on the glass floor taken from the CN Tower's website: "The Glass Floor has been specifically designed for you to have fun on it, so walk or crawl across it, sit on it or even jump on it. Don't worry it won't break.  The Glass Floor was the world's first when it opened on June 26, 1994. The floor is 23.8 square metres (256 sq. ft) of solid glass that is five times stronger than the required weight bearing standard for commercial floors. It can actually withstand the weight of 35 moose." 

After a few minutes of wracking my brain I took a deep breath, looked at the the glass and slowly put one foot on the floor followed by the other foot. I looked down and instantly felt scared again but I encouraged myself to be brave. I told myself that I was fortunate to be here and to have this moment so take the moment and triumph. 

I stood there and stared at the ground. I looked at all the cars going by and the people walking. Excitement started to build up within me again and I decided to sit on the glass and enjoy the view.

I felt pretty proud of myself but my mind began to linger on my relatives back home and the health of my grandmother. I knew that the cancer was at stage 4 and she was in excruciating pain while I was far away in another country. I didn't know if to feel guilty, fortunate or downhearted.

Niagara Falls

Niagara Falls had always been one of the places that I absolutely had to see while in Toronto. Our family members were kind enough to organize a family trip for all the Trinidadians who where visiting. The drive was longer than expected but very much worth it. Upon arrival, we parked and I eagerly walked around enjoying the beautiful sunny day. 
                           
We walked for about 5 minutes to get to the main viewing area but the roar of the water could have been heard long before I was able to see it. It was exciting and I began to take so many pictures. It was a a site to behold! The water was a spectacular blue and it gushed by as I stood there in awe. It was loud and fearsome yet amazing all at once.
                    

"Niagara Falls is the collective name for three waterfalls that straddle the International border between Canada and USA. From largest to smallest, the three waterfalls are the Horseshoe Falls, the American Falls and the Bridal Veil Falls. The Horseshoe Falls lie mostly on the Canadian side and the American Falls entirely on the American side, separated by Goat Island. The smaller Bridal Veil Falls are also on the American side, separated from the other waterfalls by Luna Island. The international boundary line was originally drawn through Horseshoe Falls in 1819, but the boundary has long been in dispute due to natural erosion and construction"

Within that moment of standing near the waterfall, I had an immense humbling feeling. I was absolutely blown away by the stunning form of nature before me. I stood there for a few minutes just taking in the blue water, the incredible roar of the water and the mist that rose. 

I felt so extremely blessed to be able to visit this famous landmark on such a beautiful day. As the day went on we visited a nearby park and took some more pictures. We settled down and had a meal. I grew restless and wanted to wander around and encouraged my older cousin to take me. I believe we were near Rainbow Bridge and we were right under the bridge. 

     

I heard a dog barking and voices from a distance. Curious and eager to find the voices I looked all around until I saw movements on the other side of the river. Two persons were jogging on what seemed to be a trail. I thought of how those person's lives were like to be living in America, just carrying own with their daily routine as I was here for a holiday and had to return to Trinidad after the 4 weeks was over.

I took my camera and zoomed as much as I could to remember those persons. There was also this lovely house overlooking the river and I wished so much for if only I could been living there. It would've been a great escape to wake up to that view each morning and forget how much I missed my relatives.

A Trini Wedding in Toronto.

I arrived in Toronto on Thursday 2nd August just in time for a relative's wedding on Sunday. A total of 6 of us went for the wedding and the atmosphere was buzzing with excitement. The Friday night we all got together at the groom's home and had a traditional Hindu 'saffron night' where we rubbed saffron all over the groom's legs, arms and face. This was followed by 'patching lawa' and then we all danced, laughed and met family and friends. 
                                
On Saturday, the day of the Hindu wedding ceremony, I began to miss my grandmother as I dressed and needed someone to help me but when I met up with all the family I felt the excitement again.

                 

The reception took place the next day on Sunday. My relatives surprised all of the visiting Trini's by pulling up in a stretch hummer limo to take us to the venue. We popped a bottle of champagne and had a toast to the happy occasion
  
                              
I made a speech on behalf of my family and was complimented by so many family members for representing my grandmother. Now it wouldn't have been a true Trini wedding without a drunk brawl now would it? It was hilarious and we gossiped about it for the rest of the night. We ate, laughed and danced till the morning hours. I always cherish the memories of this weekend and all the wonderful happy memories that were created. 

Preparing for Toronto

After my trip to Vancouver, 8 years later I went on my second international trip to Toronto in August of 2012. So much had happened within those years. My family had the deaths of two of my mother's brother Ramdath and Seudath. Seudath's son Vinayak ,the youngest member of our family, also passed away from cancer on Valentine's Day morning. He had just celebrated his 4th birthday two weeks earlier. Just days before Vinayak's death, my grandmother was diagnosed with cancer.
                              
On the outside I had to smile at school, keep up with assignments and be strong to support my mother and help my grandmother. On the inside... I was screaming. I was desperate for an end to the sadness. I was depressed and lost any motivation to live. It was too much to bear at just 17. My school work reflected my current state and my teachers asked me to visit the school counselor.
Ironically the counselor was a waste. I had to explain everything to her and how I felt about it all. I had to tell this woman about my relatives' deaths while she just scribbled away on a notepad and mumbled things. I had to tell her and relive the moment I learnt of Vinayak's death while at school. I remember screaming so loud the entire block heard me. All the air was sucked out of my lungs. His death left me in a dark deep hole. 
My grandmother had tried to delay her chemotherapy to attend her nephew's wedding in Toronto and I was to accompany her on the trip as well as my uncle and his wife. As the trip neared, my grandmother's pain intensified and she had to receive chemotherapy immediately. We cancelled her ticket and focused on her getting better before re-booking. At 17 I was limited to how much I could do. I would accompany my grandmother on her hospital trips and stay with her as my uncle signed any paperwork and consulted with the doctors.
                              
The anticipation of the trip distracted me from negative thoughts about my grandmother. I began to feel some excitement and enthusiasm again. I packed my suitcases and counted down the days till I would once more escape reality at home.

First Snow

The last day of my holiday was approaching and I dreaded it. I did not want to leave this place. It made me so happy and I forgot all our troubles at home. I felt a mix of happy and sad with all that had happened in the past three weeks. I was anxious to experience snow before I left and I would keep asking my aunt why it hasn't snowed yet or if the weather channel said it would. 
The last day came and I sat on the floor staring at the TV. I had became deeply engrossed with 'Kim Impossible' on the Disney channel for the duration of my holiday. As if time had slowed down, I remember something catching my eye through the  veranda glass door and taking a few moments to process what was happening while my eye widened with glee. 
It began to snow.... and it was magical. No time was wasted as I got into full gear and ran outside yelling at my mother to keep up with me. Nothing could explain the overwhelming joy I experienced as I jumped around, caught the snow flakes and stuck out my tongue to taste the snow. I forgot everything that day. I forgot my father's death. I forgot going back to school. I forgot I had to leave.

The memories of that day comforts me so much. It never fails to make me smile. I cherish that day. It is a bittersweet memory of my grandmother as well. My grandmother passed away October 26th 2012. Last week marked 4 years since her battle with cancer ended. Now I look back and appreciate these memories created, moments enjoyed with her as a family from this trip and the gratefulness for these pictures.